The Void Inside

For years I've had this feeling that I was supposed to be doing more with my life. I always felt like I was on a mission, supposed to be doing something special, yet I lay dormant inside. I tried many times in many ways to fill this void, which I believed to be spiritual. I wasn't sure if it was religious, philisophical, or something I wasn't able to grasp yet, maybe it would take me another life time. I tried meditation, breathing techniques, books that promise spiritual guidance. At times during my life I would get a glimpse of understanding, either I was at one with the universe, or was it a religous experience, perhaps the holy spirit. As much as I tried the answer eluded me. What was my purpose here? Maybe I just wasn't ready yet, possibly I couldn't comprehend it at this point in my life. Why do I feel so in touch with my positive thinking at times, then suddenly i feel the void again, and I must begin my search again for my spiritual being that I know lives in me. If I could just get to that quiet gap between my thoughts, where in the silence I am not part of the physical world, but find moments of peace, if only for a few fleeting, yet precious moments. I know enough to realize that my
answers hide somewhere deep inside me. I search for a conscious contact with my higher power and the universe as a whole. There are those who can reach this plain of understanding and bliss at will, to them I am envious. Possibly this an example of the proverb; "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear".